radiogirl70

I guess I havn’t been very active on here lately.  I guess I just havn’t been able to bring myself to a place where I can share without being negative (which is what I promised myself).  Not having the greatest of luck getting on track.  When I first joined buddyslim,  I thought I was in the right frame of mind.  But this past week hasn’t been good eating-wise or attitude-wise.  But I realize, this too will pass…at least that is my greatest wish.  So, just blogging, like I am right now, is a small step in the right direction.  I’m going to try to read as many of your blogs as I can and hope that I can get inspired to do better myself.  And I am going to try to pre-plan my meals again, because that always works for me.  I’m also struggling with some depression this week.  Not sure exactly why.  But I have been under a lot of stress.  I’m not using that as an excuse for not eating well;  I’m just pointing out that it is so hard to fight two battles at the same  time.  But anything is possible, right?

I’m a little bummed out today.  I realized that I havn’t had many “perfect” eating days in the past week.  That isn’t to say that I’ve been over-doing it, but just not trying as hard as I know I could.  But like they say, “fake it til’ you make it.”  That’s my goal this week, I guess.   So, to make this a positive, and not a negative, I will pat myself on the back for NOT eating as badly as I could, for continuing to blog (even when I feel unmotivated to do so), and for continuing to write in my food journal (even though it makes me cringe to see where I’ve gone off track).   Maybe that is part of my problem.  I strive for perfection in many areas.  And rarely do I ever achieve “perfection”;  who does?  Its a terrible burden to put on ourselves.  And, as a result, I often give up on things I have trouble perfecting.  I’ve been that way since I was a child.  Hmmm… I think I’m having what Oprah calls “a lightbulb moment”!!!!   Instead of soldiering on when I fall, I usually give up and refuse to do what I cannot do better than anyone else, or “perfectly”.  Wow!  This gives me a lot to think about.  LOL….blogging is sooo therapeutic!   Thanks for listening everyone!

I can’t believe how incredible this site is!! I’m so glad to have stumbled upon it. After only two postings, I have found so much encouragement from the responses of fellow-buddies. Thank you all!! As I mentioned, I really feel “safe” here. It doesn’t bother me one bit, oddly, to post my weight for all to see on here; or talk about personal and health issues that I am sure many others are also experiencing. Just blogging like this is such great therapy. Sometimes we don’t really need answers as much as we need to be heard. There is comfort in that.

I’m not doing perfectly food-wise, but I know it would be worse if I wasn’t making a conscious effort. And I am. And just like that saying goes, its not how many times you get knocked down, its how many times you get back up, r ight? Or something like that, lol. So I am planning to stay in the ring for this one to the very last round.

It sounds terrible, but I am a little grateful that this year the whole family Easter dinner is a “no go”. I’m working all weekend, as is my mother-in-law, and my family lives a couple of hours away. So, I won’t be tempted to over-indulge. Maybe if I were a little further into this, I could handle a scene like that; but not right now. Its too early in the game to allow for treats and splurging. I’m trying to go “hard core” for a little while. At least until I earn the right to treat myself.

My husband is baking a ham right now for himself and the kids this weekend, but that is not a temptation of mine. I will enjoy my rice, tuna and brocolli….seriously! I’m actually craving that right now!! I could eat rice everyday!! Yum!! I’ve been using protein shakes for breakfast and lunch for the past week now, and I havn’t really decided when I will phase the shakes out yet. My husband is a nurse (in 8 wks actually), and he and I will sit down this week and take a look at my progress and decide how and when I should modifiy my diet. The shakes are my way of cleansing my system for a short time and to hopefully give me a jump start on the weight-loss. I know I can’t exist on shakes forever. And I wouldn’t want to. I am missing my breakfast cereals waaaay too much for that!! Although the shakes are very filling, they are gone in minutes! And I feel more like I’ve had a real meal if it takes longer to eat. Maybe everyone feels that way? I don’t know. But for now, the shakes are satisfying.

Well, I hope you all do well with the temptations of Easter goodies…especially if, like me, you have young ones in the house who will be visited by the Easter Bunny!!!

Be back soon,

Lesley

Not a perfect day, food-wise. I havn’t even logged in my food journal yet today. But I have to keep moving past today. Tomorrow will be better. If I get stuck on the mistakes I made today, they’ll just keep me in a negative place…which gets me nowhere.

I’ve been stressed out lately. Stress causes me to seek comfort foods. That’s what happened today. Job-related stress, family issues, personal issues…doesn’t matter, they all make great excuses to over-eat. And that is one thing I want to try to change. Making EXCUSES!! I catch myself doing it all of the time. It is negative and only blocks my success at losing weight. And stress will ALWAYS be there. Its part of life. So, the challenge is to learn new ways to deal with stress. Mind you, I am open about the fact that I have anxiety issues for which I am on meds, so that is one way in which I am dealing with my stresses. But meds only do so much. I know what I NEED to do: exercise, meditation, journaling, etc. I’ve known that forever, but why is it we find it so hard to do what we know needs to be done? What we know will help us? Like losing weight. We as over-weight people are not oblivious to the fact that we NEED to consume fewer calories and exercise more. That’s not rocket science to us. But there has to be something missing in our wiring, don’t you think? Something that prevents us from just DOING it!! Why is it so difficult? I’ve tried to figure that one out for a long, long time. We are not lazy, we are not un-informed, we are not incapeable. So what then?? Its a mystery to me. Regardless, I want to try to stop making excuses, as I said earlier. So, I ask of all of you to let me know if you ever catch me making “excuses” for over-eating or “excuses” for why I am over-weight. I want to try to keep this a positive blog. Ok, well, mostly, lol. When I have a down day, I will be honest and say that. But I need to blog about how I am going to make tomorrow a better day, and not dwell on the negative. At least that is my hope.

Food Log

Exercise Log

Well, I FINALLY figured out how to get to the blogging stage of BuddySlim! I’m such a newbie!! I’m still a bit overwhelmed though. I really stumbled upon BuddySlim totally by accident a couple of nights ago, and just joined without thinking really. I almost felt lead here, as eerie as that may sound, lol!

But I am happy to be here. I’ve been feeling so hopeless lately. My weight really seems to be controlling my life now, and I am beginning to feel so afraid. I am a 37 mother of two, married to a 4th year nursing student who will be graduating in just eight weeks!! The past four years have been very stressful for that reason, and I have put on a good 50 pounds in that time. In the past year, I have begun taking meds for Hashimotos Thyroiditis, and I have been on meds for anxiety and depression for the past five years. My doctor informed me last week that it will be just a matter of time before I need meds for high blood pressure and possibly, diabetes could become a concern as well. Yikes!!!! All of that news sent me straight to bed with the covers over my head…litterally! I’ve always known that “NOW” is the time to do something about my weight, but “NOW” seems even more urgent than ever before. That scares me. I’ve been successful at weight loss once before, about five years ago. I lost 70 pounds of the 153 pound goal I had set for myself. But, no word of a lie, the very week I began taking meds for anxiety, I began to slowly put that weight right back on. Thus, the fifty pounds I mentioned above. Losing the weight doesn’t really seem to be the problem. Keeping it off is so much more difficult for me. Getting started is hard too. The actual following of a program I enjoy. I like structure and routine. But the moment I fall down, I have trouble getting back up. Therefore, I am hoping to meet some buddies who I can share with. Who will inspire me. And maybe, in time, I can also inspire someone. I am hoping to find a warm and supportive community here….but as I said, I am still figuring this out! LOL

Food Log

Exercise Log